Notallmen/Yesallwomen, secondary trauma and relearning everything for the sake of not killing each other

This is really, really thoughtful and really, really good and I really, really want my male friends to read it, because it gives men actionable insights into how women are feeling, how men might be feeling, and how we can all help each other. (Hint: it involves listening! It always involves listening. Listening leads to kindness and dammit, babies, you’ve got to be kind.)

All the things, all mixed up

(Hi again!  I’m basically the least consistent writer ever.  But this is on my mind and I wanted to try to write about it if I could.  Warning: I think I’m pretty frank, and also I swear a fair amount.  Also, I am writing from my perspective, not as a representative of women.  Just as a representative of me.  That said, I make the assumption that a lot of what I have experienced in the realm of sexual harassment/assault/intimidation is pretty across the board for women in my culture.  The #YesAllWomen meme resonates strongly with me).

Like most of my friends, much of the news, and many of the writers I follow, I’ve been caught up in the terrible, horrible killing spree of Elliot O Roger, his misogynist manifesto, and what this event reflects about our larger cultural reality.  And, like many (much better than me) writers and culture observers, I’ve observed…

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